Then I guess we're both shit out of luck. [like crowley, archer has his lines. he has a concerning disregard for human life in general, but kids? no, nothing could get him to hurt them. at worst, if he has to, he'll only look to disable them in a non-lethal way.] Oh, please. This isn't even my top five kidnappings.

[...okay, it probably actually is just for the strangeness, but it's not archer if he doesn't act like he's somehow above all this madness.]

Not to mention Photoshop exists. Everything that's happened here is within the realm of reality! Maybe if Spacebot or Gambit show up then I'll reassess...

[he tempts fate, as he always does. the moment "realm of reality" leaves his mouth, a very, very loud thudding sounds outside the house.]